Pennyless Writer

I was in the next episode of Gossip Girl.  Dan was being very silly and annoying the whole time.  He almost got run over by a car because he was standing in the middle of the street.

Dan also had a weird obsession with carrots.  He kept stalking Serena and, with my help, found her.  She was in big trouble (as usual) and Dan and I were devising a plan to help her, and us, escape.

We were in a tiny shack, and began using whatever tools we had, like MacGyver. Dan was getting on my nerves even more.  We kept eating and using carrots as tools.  Then I woke up.

Recap of several dreams over the last few weeks.

1) I planned Demi Lovato’s birthday and then called her to explain the details to her, and see if she approved.  She was being a weirdo teenage girl and giggling too much. – Then I woke up.

2) My boss was at my house, trying to get me to confess “what I did” to my parents (I don’t know what I did). Then my house suddenly began sinking into water, and turned into the Titanic (but still my house).  I couldn’t find my boss, but I saw my family in the water and pulled them out, one by one.

I couldn’t find my dad, though, and all I could do or think about was looking for him to pull him out.  I was freaking out, but I knew I would find him.  Then I saw him, and went to get him.  – Then I woke up.

3) Some Christmas Carolers came to our home. They were singing at our door, but I was mad because I didn’t like carolers, so instead of giving them money, I told my mom I was gonna give them lasagna (she had made it for dinner).  My mom said she had already put a little “surprise” for them in each lasagna piece.

Then this guy from my high school was suddenly there, and was giving us props for being creative.  He thought we were cool and wanted to stay and hang out, so I gave him a soda. – Then I woke up.

4) The guy I liked peed all over the inside of my car.  In zig-zag lines, everywhere.  I was really mad.  His best friend told me about it.  His best friend was the bad guy from “Kindergarten Cop” – the dude with the ponytail.  I yelled at the peeing guy, then woke up.

5) There was some work party in a giant house, late at night with a full moon.  I was in a room with this Asian guy who kept grabbing me, and put his hand up my skirt, so I got mad and beat the crap out of him.  I beat him up bad.

One guy from work saw me, but he only saw me beating the Asian guy up. He went and started telling everyone I work with, one by one, not to be friends with me because I was a bully.  I finally caught up to him and told him that I beat the Asian guy up because he was groping me and put his hand up my skirt.  The guy said, “oooooooh, okay” and then, “well, good for you.”  – Then I woke up.

When I was in Kindergarten, I dreamt that aliens came to our new house on Lamer Street, and we fought them.  We fought them with our ninja-karate moves.

We were winning.  Then I woke up.

For some reason, DMX was mad at me, and so he started trying to catch me and kill me.  Faith Evans was helping him.  Both were angry and violent.

There was a lot of running through corridors, rooms, and more doors.  DMX did not catch up with me, but Faith did.

She caught me by the back of my shirt, and started digging her knife into my lower back.  It hurt so bad, and started bleeding a little.  She was grinding it in slowly.

Then I woke up.  I’ve been afraid of DMX ever since.  (and Faith Evans a little)

Don’t remember all the details.  Lucille Ball and Desai Arnez had a new-born baby.  They were staying in a hotel.  Staying in the room next to them was Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, and that other dude from “The Breakfast Club” that also looks like them.  They were annoyed because the baby kept crying and making noise.

The next day, Lucille Ball went to church, and had to take the baby with her because she had nowhere else to put it.  So she went inside the church, and suddenly I was Lucille Ball holding the baby.  I went into a church pew, and who was sitting there but Charlie, Emilio, and Breakfast Club dude.

As soon as they saw me and the baby, they dogged me in annoyance.  The baby started fussing and crying a little, and the Sheen pack eyed me.  I did my best to soothe the baby, but it was taking awhile.  The Sheen pack was not happy.  This was getting stressful.

Then I woke up.  THE NEXT DAY I SAW EMILIO ESTEVEZ ON THE WB LOT!! He looked at me, and almost stared at me in a weird way, like he KNEW!!! AH!

(I had this dream awhile ago, so some of the details are lost).

After losing a sports game, a kid was in the locker room alone with the coach.  The kid was dressed in a Boy Scout uniform.  The coach yelled at him and blamed him for everything.

Suddenly, I was in the locker room, too, and we were discussing a plan.  The kid began yelling back at the coach, and explaining with very intelligent vocabulary what the problem was with the game, and with our plan, and what we needed to do to fix it.

It made perfect sense, and I agreed with the kid’s suggestions.  The coach, however, did not.  He lost it, shouted some line, like “fix this!” and stabbed the boy in the gut with a large knife.

The kid was in shock and pain, and sunk to the floor, dying.

The coach offered me the knife and wanted me to stab the kid.  I refused.  He said we had to pull out his organs, but I didn’t want to do it.

The coach got fed up and stabbed the kid again himself, gutted him, pulled out his entrails, and left him on the floor.  The coach then exited the locker room.

I just stood there, looking at the kid in shock.  Poor kid.  He was a smart one.  He could have helped us with our plan.  Whatever the plan was.  But mostly, he was a nice kid, who didn’t deserve to die for making a comment.  A smart and true comment.

Now I knew, I had to watch what I said around the coach.  He was like a mob boss.  Piss him off, and you’re dead.  I planned on calling the cops when I was in a safer place.  But for now, I just stared sadly at the dead kid on the locker room floor.

Then I woke up.