DREAMS: Muppet Battle

Posted: December 6, 2011 in Dreams

There was going to be a big Muppet battle.  The last and biggest of their battles to end a long-going Muppet war.  I had just joined Kermit’s army.  I was fighting on the good guys’ sides.  The other side was a mob of mean, murderous Muppets.  I trained with Kermit’s army for weeks, until it was finally time to meet our enemies.

We made our way to the agreed upon battle site – a middle school gymnasium.  This was where it would all go down.  Muppets dying for what they believed in.  I was ready.  Ready to fight.  Ready to die.

We each had our own broom-like object that we flew on, soaring through the clear sky.  The object I was mounted on was a giant red Crayola crayon.  It was as thick as a lamp post, and as long as about 2 baseball bats.  I decided that I could also use my crayon as a weapon in the battle.

As I flew through the sky, I thought about how great it felt to fly.  So smooth, so relaxing.  I hoped that this wasn’t a dream.  It didn’t feel like one.  It felt so real.  If it was real, then I had just learned to FLY!  I would never have to sit through L.A. traffic again!  Traveling from now on would be relaxing, not stressful.

We finally reached the gymnasium, and landed right behind it.  We braced ourselves, and entered the building.  The hallway was dim, with only a few lights on.  We all took our fighting stance, as Kermit reached for the doorknob to the courts.   He opened it, and there was a silence.  We all froze, waiting for his command.

Kermit turned back to us. “They’re not here,” he said.  What?  Not here?!  We all began talking at once, our surprise and confusion causing a commotion in the group.  Kermit silenced us.  He found a note from their leader, and told us that they had backed out.  They surrendered.  They were too afraid to fight us.

Everyone else cheered, but I was angry.  No fight?  I had trained for weeks!  I had bulked up, worked my butt learning to fight like a warrior, and pumped myself up expecting a fight!  For nothing?  Those murderous Muppets who had hurt so many people, were afraid of fighting the sweet silly Muppets?  Outrageous!  Where was I supposed to channel my built up adrenaline?

“Dance partaaaay!” Fozzie yelled.  Suddenly, the lights in the hallway went even lower, and disco balls came down out of nowhere.  All the Muppets started dancing in their spots.  My anger immediately washed away and was replaced with excitement and delight.  Crazy Muppets!

I joined in the dance party, and we all laughed and danced away, weapons still in hand.  We eventually migrated to the courts, and continued our dance party.  Somehow, there was a punch bowl, and cups were being passed around.  Swedish Chef?  It was the most delicious punch I’ve ever tasted!  I’m pretty sure I saw some chickens being thrown around, too.  This whole event was bliss.  Muppets, flying, dance party, silliness, and delicious punch.  I was so happy.

Then I woke up.

  1. Z says:

    Were you a muppet or a human? I must know!

  2. And where’s Animal in all of this?

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